I'm so thankful for this website. I need some godly advice. My heart is so torn between all the responsibilites I have. I am a mother, a ministers wife, a teacher, and the list seems to never end. I know this is the case with most women, and I'm not complaining, I love every area of my life. The problems is this, I feel like for every one thing I get right there are two things I've forgotten, messed up, or could have done better. I want desperatly to be organized and to know what to do when and how to do well, but I can never seem to get there no matter how hard I try something important is always left undone. I either need some advice on how to do better or either a fresh perspective on how to rest inspite of things not being just so. I don't need things to be perfect for me, but I know that my life and my choices affect other people. That matters to me. I want more than anything to represent Christ well. I know one of my problems is that I alway look at what is not done instead of enjoying the fruit of what has been done. Do you have any ideas on how I might can overcome this perspective?
~ Needing Perspective
Read Girlfriends Mentor, Drewe Llyn's Response
1 comment:
Dear Sister,
I can so relate to your busy life and schedule! If you’re like me, you sometimes think something needs to go, but what? Of course some things can’t go, our responsibilities to our husbands and our children are top priority, priorities ordained by God. As a minister’s wife you also have important responsibilities in and to the church. However, let’s look at some possible things that might prove helpful.
1. Commit your way to the Lord. (Psalm 37:5-6.) Ask Him to order your steps. (Psalm 37:23.) Take time every morning to seek God’s face, drawing strength from Him, and asking Him to guide you through the day.
2. Make a list of the things you need/want to get done during the week. Prioritize it into things that must be done and things that can wait. Then decide what you will do each day of the week. Make sure you cross off what is completed. That will give you a sense of accomplishment. And for the record…if something gets added to your schedule, write it on the list and cross it off. I don’t think that’s cheating.
3. Be flexible. Your list from #2 is just a guide. If you don’t get something done, don’t panic. Look at your master list often and make adjustments. If you ask God to order your steps, He may have other plans for you.
4. Learn how to say no. This can be very hard for a minister’s wife. Some congregations set high expectations for her, expectations that are unrealistic. We’ve been at our current pastorate for nearly six years. I told the pastor-search committee up front that I will let the Lord tell me what I need to do in the church and that sometimes I will have to say no. Most people will respect that. Another thing our current congregation knows, I don’t do “parties”. What I mean is that I don’t go to Tupperware, Mary Kay, or Home Interior type parties. It’s too stressful to go to every one, and I feel guilty buying things I can’t afford. If I don’t go to any “parties” then no one is offended when I don’t go to theirs. Let the Lord, not the congregation dictate what you take on.
5. Cut something out. Make a list of all your responsibilities and what you’re doing with your time. Take a good look at it. Is there something that can be cut out?
6. Ask for help. I don’t know how old your children are, but even at an early age they can help you with things around the house. Sometimes it may seem easier to do it yourself, but in the long run, you’ll be glad they’ve learned how to help.
7. Get organized. A planner or calendar is a great help. Make sure you write down all family activities and even your daily “chores”. There are tons of places on the internet that can give tips on organizing your household. (Go to Google and type in “organizing tips”.) Don’t try to do everything at once. Set small, attainable goals. That way you will reach them and not get discouraged.
8. Don’t sweat the small stuff. In 100 years, what will really matter? The Bible tells us that heaven and earth will pass away. Spend your time on eternal things rather than the physical. 1 Corinthians tells us what will last: Faith, Hope, and Love. The greatest of which is Love.
Don’t give up. If you fail today, know that God’s mercies are new every morning.
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