My husband has been called in to the ministry. He has just finished his first year of college. I'm finding that he is getting a great education and mentoring, but there isn't anything out there to prepare the wife for the ministry. Is there any advice you could give to someone just entering in to this ministry??
Thanks!
Carissa
Maine
Future Pastor's Wife
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Dear Carissa,
I've been a pastor's wife for nearly 24 years. I've often thought I should write a book for new pastor's wives. But by the time I get it written you could probably write your own. *grin* So, while there's no way to give all the advice I'd like to, let me share a few things....in no particular order. (Just as they pop into my head.)
1. The only person you are accountable to is God. That may sound easy, but you must continually remember that. Someone once said, "You can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time." What pleases one person will upset another, so just make sure you are in a right relationship with God. (I highly suggest buying a copy of Max Lucado's You Are Special.)
2. Always build up and support your husband. Even if you disagree with him, don't do it in front of church members. They don't need any fuel for their fire.
3. Try to be positive at church and at home. There is plenty of negativity going around.
4. Love the people. I mean, really, really love the people and show it. They can spot a fake a mile away. But they will forgive a multitude of sins if they know you love them.
5. That said, some church members will be easy to love. Some will be down right hard. Pray for both. Your attitude toward the difficult ones will soften if you truly pray God's blessings on them.
6. Have some friends and activities outside of the church. There will be times you need to let your hair down and be completely honest. That is often difficult (and often inadvisable) to do with church members.
7. Pray, pray, pray. Pray everyday for your husband to have wisdom and discernment. Ask God to grant him favor among the church members and community.
8. Don't take on jobs just because you are "expected" to. I told our current church upfront that I will only take on responsibilities I feel God has for me and that sometimes I'd have to say no.
9. See this as your ministry too. Many pastor's wives consider it to be their husband's "Job" or "ministry", but it is yours too. You have a special and unique role as the pastor's wife, and God has called you to it.
10. Don't be a gossip. There will be times of church conflict when you really want to talk about someone or something. Bite your tongue. When everything blows over...as it usually will...the only thing the people will remember is that the pastor's wife said such and such.
I'm running out of time right now, so I'll stop there. May God bless you as you begin this exciting journey!
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